Simple ways to build confidence & self-esteem in kids

Self-confidence originates from ones own accomplishments. As a preschool teacher, I had seen many children become more confident and self-assured as they learned and completed new tasks and goal. And not only because of the praise by parents and family.

It's said- from play to chores, encouraging efforts helps kids gain confidence & acquire skills 

It’s natural that as parents, we want to instill confidence in our kids. A confident children believe in themselves and are able to face new challenges without fear an essential factor for a happy and fulfilling life.

Although each child is different, there are a few simple guidelines we can follow to build our kids’ confidence.

Play tops the list

The time we spend playing with our children shows them that they are valuable and worth our time. 

It's necessary to pay attention on our children even during play. We call it we time, Children are perceptive and will know if our mind is elsewhere. Dedicating ourself to the game while playing is essential too. The shared imagination brings us closer together and lets the kids know that We’re listening to them.

We all are caught-up and life is hectic, we Parents are often multitasking. However, when it comes to playtime, I try to give my full attention to kids and be part of their play with completely i.e without any distraction. The bond I share with my kids were often built during this important time together.

Our Attention Matters 

I try to follow these few simple steps for building confidence while giving kids attention:

We all know how important it is to make time to give our children our full attention. Much like playtime, it boosts our children’s feelings of self-worth by sending the message that we think they are important and valuable.
Eye contact- it’s clear that we’re really listening to what they are saying.
If the child needs to talk, try to stop and listen to what they have to say. I know it's not always possible but, when I really can't listen, I sit with them later ans talk to them. They need to know that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.

We often try and help them get comfortable with their emotions by accepting them without judgment. By doing so, we validate those feelings and show that we value what they have to say.
I also share my own feelings to help them gain confidence in expressing their own.

Encouraging Efforts

Think about the last time someone acknowledged your hard work and told you they believed in you. That kind of encouragement not only gives adults the kind of confidence boost they need to keep going, but it also builds the best kind of confidence a child can have.

Too much praise can create pressure to perform and set up a constant need for approval from others. It’s better instead to give kids the message that the effort—and seeing something through to the end—is what’s truly important.

There’s a big difference between encouragement and praise. One rewards the person while the other rewards the task. Praise can make a child feel that that they’re only worthwhile if they do something flawlessly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort.

For example, “This Birthday card is amazing!” vs. “You worked so hard to make this Birthday card! Great job.”
We celebrate post any activity, performance or test and not after results, so we are appreciating the efforts.
By setting children up to succeed, providing them a generous amount of encouragement, and spending quality time together, we can help them grow up feeling good about themselves and the world around them.

Small Responsibilities

Children need opportunities to display their skills and feel that their contribution is valued too. This means asking them to help with age appropriate household chores such as:

Sharing Things I do with my RJs since they were of 24months, now they are 5years and 7years.
Tidying up toys
Sorting Vegetables once its washed
To bring Vegetables from the Refrigerator  
Peeling Peas, garlic
Sorting & folding laundry
Watering Plants
Making Lemonade
Making Butter-toast
Kneeding Dough
Preparing cold coffee
Making Fruit chaat
Spreading Bedsheet/Making Bed

Consider children's age and interests and give them a work that lets them feel useful and successful. If a child is proud of his/her ability to organize, ask to put toys in designated areas. When kids accomplishes the task, they feel confident.

We work with our children when tasks start, not to loose their fun appeal. It helps them to learn that sometimes- work comes before play.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

26 thoughts on “Simple ways to build confidence & self-esteem in kids

  1. Noor Anand Chawla

    Very thought-provoking post with easy to follow tips.

    • Pooja

      Thank You Noor 🙂

    • Pooja

      Thanks a lot 🙂

  2. Agree, All children need are encouragement and a way to enhance their skill

  3. Agree with all the points mentioned here. Sharing small responsibilities can really boost their confidence.

  4. Truly, these are very simple household chores but are still very helpful to build confidence in kids.

  5. Getting them to interact with animals or having a pet dog or cat can work wonders for their confidence as well.

    • Pooja

      Oh! That’s nice. can be a point which can be added here. I personally can’t keep a pet, I beleive – it’s a way of caging them and they are ment to be free.

  6. I love the idea of handing kids small responsibilities and building confidence in them from an early age!

  7. These are some simple.and easy steps to build self esteem in kids..practicallity is the highlight

  8. Such effective ways to hone confidence in kids. Each child is unique and different.

  9. Small responsibility and encouraging them while they try to do.
    Try believing in the decisions they make.
    Will help a lot

  10. I am sure a lot of parents would find the post useful. Giving kids responsibilities, however small, helps them gain confidence.

  11. That’s a great list of tasks to boost confidence and teach the importance of self help.

  12. Kaveri Chhetri

    Can’t agree more. I know just how important self confidence is. I didn’t have it till I was much older. But as a mother I have to say that despite knowing all these things we tend to not implement it or act impulsively most times. Thank you for this refresher.

  13. These are very important points you have enumerated in your post for building the self confidence of kids. I personally believe in giving them tasks home chores and once they complete it praise them. This not only builds their confidence but also helps them learn new chores.

  14. I agree appreciation, encouragement and learning whole having fun does help a lot in booking kids confidence that leads to higher self esteem.

    • Wonderful post. I got some different point of views. Appreciation really works on everyone.

  15. Ok, I guess this not only helps teachers but parents and others in a family where there are kids.

  16. You are absolutely right. They may be children but they are very smart and can understand when they are not getting attention. When we spend time with children, we should give them our full attention.

  17. It’s so important to build confidence when one is younger and your blog has really helped reinforce that thought. The more parents and mentors keep this in mind the better for the younger generation

  18. Since you’re speaking from your experience as a teacher and mother your advice is practical and helpful. Good points. Quality time with kids is crucial.

  19. These tips are practical and some of which I’ve been practicing with both my kids and it does really work. Thanks for sharing this.

  20. Loved how these small efforts by parents can build huge self confidence in children. This makes them more responsible and confident too.

  21. Flavia Cutinho

    This is a worth post and true as well.

  22. Wonderful points you have shared. Kids who are not confident cannot achieve much in life. Kids just need positive affirmations. The more they are said no or scolded they lose their confidence is my thinking.

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